


It Changes Everything: Charlie

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [16]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Eventual Romance, Kidnapping, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-10 20:36:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5599963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie's POV of the second half of the story "It Changes Everything"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missing factor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the kidnapping, Charlie is unable to sleep.

Originally Published: January 2, 2007 

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 1 **Pairing:** Charlie/Colby **  
**Rating: NC-17, FRAO **  
**Summary: Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 1 - Missing factor  
After the kidnapping, Charlie is unable to sleep.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
**Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author!  
**Warnings:** **insomnia, lust**  
**A/N:** New year and back to longer fic! As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 7 or 8 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

Charlie snapped awake, gasping and shaking, all his senses straining.His eyes darted around the room, searching every shadow.His ears struggled to catch again the sound that had awoken him - the sound of gunfire.

There was nothing.Charlie groaned and flopped his head back onto his pillow.This was the third night that he couldn’t stay asleep for more than ten minutes.Three nights of no REM sleep was really getting to him.Before bed tonight, he’d drunk a quart of chamomile tea and three beers.Normally one cup of tea or one beer would be enough to send him off to sleep for ten hours, but it had only made him need to get up and go to the bathroom more often as he lay in bed, unable to even close his eyes.

His dad had made it clear that if Charlie wasn’t able to sleep tonight on his own, his dad would be talking to the doctor about getting some heavy-duty medicine to knock him out.Charlie couldn’t imagine that the sleep he’d get when drugged like that would be much better than no sleep at all.

He sat up in bed and wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling the blanket tight around him.His room was lit up as brightly as he could manage, with the overhead lights, a couple of torchieres from the spare bedroom, and even a massive table lamp with two full-spectrum light bulbs, in case some artificial sunlight would help.It didn’t work.There were still shadows.He calculated that he’d need more voltage than the power outlets in this old house could handle in order to banish every possible shadow. _Maybe if I run a power cord from the garage …_

Charlie sighed and propped his chin on his knees.Regardless of how many lights he had on, he’d still see shadows when he closed his eyes.Even if he was in a sensory deprivation tank, he’d still hear the gunshots, still smell the stink of gunpowder and scorched concrete, still feel the panic and pain and terror of that twenty-by-twenty grave.The last time he’d slept well was right before the gunshots, when he was lying on Colby’s lap.

Charlie blinked. _Colby!Of course, how could I have been so slow?_ He’d accounted for all the factors of a safe sleeping environment except for the one part that actually _had_ kept him safe.If Colby was there, no one could shoot him again.Colby had already proven that.

He climbed out of bed, swaying a little with the nagging vertigo of sleeplessness, and looked around for some clothes.

A few moments later, Charlie found himself in his car with no real recollection of getting there.He seemed to be dressed, with his crutch, and had his car keys in his hand.He searched his foggy brain and found the memory of where Colby lived, assuming he still lived in the same place where Don and Charlie had dropped him off one night when Colby had drunk too much.Charlie put the car into gear and hoped that the rote learning part of his brain was functioning enough to drive the car and navigate.

Apparently that part of the brain didn’t need as much REM sleep as the rest, since Charlie did end up in a parking spot near Colby’s car.It was a good thing that the roads had been so empty though.He was pretty sure that he’d driven in two lanes at once for much of the way, as he’d rationalized that where one was safe, two was safer.

He got out of the car and realized he didn’t know Colby’s apartment number.He flipped open his cell phone and scrolled through the contacts.He felt a brief moment of panic before remembering that he’d put Colby under ‘F’ for ‘FBI.’He pressed the button and waited.As the phone rang, Charlie thought to look at the parking spot where Colby’s car was parked and saw his apartment number was stenciled on the asphalt.He jerked his body into motion as the phone connected and he heard, “Granger.”

“Colby?” he asked.Colby sounded strange until Charlie thought to look at his watch and realized it was two AM in the morning and Colby had probably been asleep.

Colby’s voice snapped out of the phone, immediately awake.“Charlie?What’s wrong?”

 _The shadows won’t go away._ “I can’t sleep,” he mumbled.“I can’t ever sleep.I just keep waking up, hearing guns and shouting.”He kept his feet and crutch moving in the direction of the apartment -- that was if they were numbered in any rational fashion. __

Colby said, “I’m sorry.Have you—“

Charlie cut through any possible sleep suggestions.He’d heard nothing else for days.“Can I come over?”

“What?”Colby sounded startled.

 _Why else would I be calling?_ Charlie thought with what he felt was admirable clarity.“Can I come over?Please?”

There was a hesitation, then Colby said, “Sure, of course.”

Charlie blinked and saw that he was standing in front of a door that had the right number. _Very ingenious, Eppes._ “Good, because I’m right outside.”

Colby hung up, and Charlie pocketed his phone and resettled his crutch under his arm.The door opened suddenly and Colby stood there, looking rumpled and mostly naked in just a pair of blue shorts.

Charlie stared at him for a moment, his eyes taking in the gorgeous sculpted body of the man in front of him.He’d known that Colby was well-built and solid, but _man_ …

Colby was waiting for him to say something, and Charlie brought his eyes up to Colby’s face.“I’m sorry I woke you up.I just can’t sleep.”

“Come in, come in.”Colby stood back from the door.

Charlie stumbled inside, still dizzy plus awkward on the crutch.He glanced around the room.It looked like a typical bachelor’s apartment, with old take-out food cartons and junk mail.

Colby seemed to see his apartment as well and started picking up.“Sorry it’s such a mess.My cleaning person is out of the country this month.”

Charlie didn’t care.All he was interested in was the bedroom.“It’s okay.”Colby was also making him dizzy with his quick movements.“I just want to sleep.”

“Oh, alright.”Colby turned and began making space on his couch.Was he going to make Charlie sleep out here?No, Colby was saying, “I’ll sleep out here, just let me know if you—“

Colby didn’t get it.He didn’t see the whole equation.Charlie said, “No, I need you near me.”

“I’ll be right here if you—“

Charlie shook his head, a movement that made him dizzier.“No, _with_ me.It’s the only way that I’ll be able to sleep, knowing that you will keep me safe.”

Charlie watched Colby’s face as Colby stared at him.Was he going to refuse?What would Charlie do then?Colby was his missing factor.

“Okay,” Colby said at last.“Bedroom’s this way.”

Charlie sighed in relief and headed in the direction Colby directed.

The bed inside the room looked like heaven.Charlie could see the impression in the mattress where Colby had been sleeping.Charlie sat down on the bed and started getting undressed.He stopped when he realized that Colby was staring at him. _Oh.Forgot pajamas._ “Do you mind?I thought I could just sleep in my jeans.”

“No, no,” Colby said and Charlie nodded, glad that Colby was being reasonable.Charlie quickly got rid of his shirt, shoes, and the contents of his pockets.With a happy sigh, Charlie pulled back the blankets and settled into that warm dent in the mattress.

His eyelids were already closing, but the shadows stayed away.Colby would keep them away.Was he going to stand there all night? “Coming?” Charlie asked.

Colby went around the bed and climbed in the other side.Charlie impatiently waited for Colby to stop moving then cuddled up against him.Colby’s warm body next to him was better than any hot water bottle, better than a gallon of chamomile tea.Charlie snuggled closer to Colby and nudged him until Colby put his arm around him and Charlie could lie on Colby’s firm shoulder.

 _Safe._ Charlie sighed with contentment.The long unreachable realm of sleep opened up and welcomed him in.


	2. Working definition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie wakes up in Colby's arms.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 2 **  
**Pairing:Charlie/Colby **  
**Rating: NC-17, FRAO **  
**Summary: Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 2 - Working definition  
Charlie wakes up in Colby's arms.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
**Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author!  
**Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
**A/N:** New year and back to longer fic! As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 7 or 8 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

  


 

Charlie woke, feeling wonderful.He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be rested.He opened his eyes and smiled over at Colby.Colby was awake and watching him.

“Good morning,” Colby said.“How did you sleep?”

“Great!” he responded, sitting up and indulging in a lovely full-body stretch.“Great.”He looked down at Colby, whose eyes were soft and welcoming.Charlie leaned over and kissed him.It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

Colby stiffened and drew back. “Don’t do that,” he said, his voice taut. “Unless you mean it.”

Charlie blinked at him.He kissed him because that’s what you do when you wake up with someone.Besides, he wanted to kiss him.Why did there have to meaning to it?This is where he always got into trouble …

“How can I know if I mean it?” Charlie stammered.“How can I know?There’s no empirical test, no rational measure that I can use.No formula to determine validity.How can I know? _How can I know?_ ”

Colby bit his lip and touched Charlie’s cheek. His hand was shaking slightly.Charlie wanted to turn and kiss that hand, but what would _that_ mean?

“What do you know, then?”Colby asked quietly.

Charlie contemplated that question.Here was something he could actually answer. What did he know? “I know … I know that you make me feel safe.”Yes, that was right, that was true.What else?Something akin to safe.Protected?Treasured?He looked into Colby’s warm green eyes and found the right word.“And you make me feel loved.”

“You are,” Colby said, with a tremble in his voice.

Charlie thought further.What else did he know?He didn’t just want to be around Colby while he was sleeping.He wanted to spend time awake with him too.“I enjoy being around you, talking with you.I want to spend more time with you, a lot more time.”He thought of their long conversation in their concrete hole and the depth he had discovered in this man.“I want to share things with you, learn things about you.”

“All good,” Colby said.

_And then the physical side …_ Colby was the most gorgeous, desirable man he’d ever known.Charlie wanted those arms around him, those lips against his, that large muscular body pressed against him.His own body stirred at the thought.But this wasn’t David.This wasn’t just fun.Even he knew that this would mean something.

Still, Colby was waiting for him to speak, and he could only give his protector the truth.He touched Colby’s bare chest tentatively.“I know I want to touch you and I want you to touch me.And I know that the idea of kissing you again terrifies me more than anything in the universe, but that it also electrifies me more than anything ever has.”

Charlie had never heard a testable definition of love.The list he had just enumerated at least seemed to have the necessary components.He gave Colby a cautious smile, not really sure if he should say more. _But this is Colby.He loves me._ Charlie said carefully, “Maybe that’s a reasonable working definition of love.”

Colby’s eyes went wide and Charlie thought maybe he’d made the wrong choice.Should he not have said that?He didn’t understand love.Maybe it was something that came and went, like anger.What if Colby didn’t love him today?

Colby gripped Charlie’s hand where it rested on his chest, and he seemed to be happy.“A reasonable working definition,” Colby agreed, a little breathless.

Charlie’s eyes settled on Colby’s mouth.His brief taste had only whetted his appetite.Should he kiss him again?Would he ‘mean it’?Well, his working definition did need to be tested …“Would it be okay if I kissed you again?” he asked.

In answer, Colby reached up and pulled him down to meet him.At first Colby’s lips were soft but they soon turned hungry, intense.Colby licked the seam of Charlie’s lips and Charlie eagerly let him inside.With his own tongue, he explored Colby’s warm mouth, and ran his hand down Colby’s cheek to his muscular neck.

Colby pulled him closer until Charlie’s whole body was pressed against the length of Colby’s mostly naked body.Charlie felt himself heating up, his breath coming more quickly.Blood was starting to rush to his groin.

Colby’s hands were in Charlie’s hair and on his back and they felt large and strong and right.Charlie leaned closer – and jerked away when Colby hissed in pain.

_His ribs!_ How could he have forgotten?Those ribs had gotten broken while Colby was trying to protect him.“Oh, I’m sorry!” Charlie exclaimed.

Colby groaned and Charlie winced.He must have really have jarred those ribs.

“Not nearly as sorry as I am,” Colby grumbled.

Charlie grimaced and told his body to cool down.He wasn’t going to make things worse by being impatient.Keeping his weight carefully away from Colby’s torso, Charlie leaned over and kissed him lightly.“I’m not going anywhere.I can wait.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Colby said with heavy frustration.

“You’ve waited this long,” Charlie said.He ran his fingers through Colby’s hair, realizing that he’d been wanting to do that for a long time.“I really hope I’m worth all the anticipation.”

That brought a smile to Colby’s face at least.“You are the oddest combination of incredible arrogance and total insecurity.”

Why do people always say that?It’s not arrogant to tell the truth and it’s not insecurity to know where you’re weak. _Okay, maybe a little insecurity._ “Yeah, well, give me a math problem and I’m all over it.It’s this people stuff that scares me.” __

“I know,” Colby said, his strong fingers touching Charlie’s hair.Charlie wanted to kiss those fingers, suck on them, but he resisted the urge.Colby continued, “I’ll try to just ask you math questions from now on.”

That made Charlie laugh.“That would make for very short conversations.”

Colby pulled on his hair.“Arrogant brat,” he said, but his voice was loving. _Looks like today is a day that Colby loves me.I wonder how often that will happen?_

Arrogant brat, eh?“Been called that all my life,” Charlie smiled.“Even my dad—“His stomach lurched. _Dad!_ “Damn!I better call my dad.He’s gonna be worried sick.”

With a loud grumble for having to move away from Colby’s warm body, Charlie climbed out of bed and found his phone.The conversation with his dad went about as he expected – worried anger, demands for explanations, false conclusions.His dad did think to remind him that he had a doctor’s appointment this morning.At least Charlie could go there now after a full night’s sleep.

He heaved a sigh and looked at Colby.He so badly wanted to climb back in that bed with him.Surely if they were really careful … _No, you’re being greedy again.You have to be strong and not let Colby know how much you want him.He deserves at least that much consideration from you._

“I gotta go,” he said finally.“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment, then I need to go into work and reassure everyone I’m not dead.” __

“Okay,” Colby said quietly.

_But sleeping is still okay, right?_ Charlie reached out and cautiously touched Colby’s shoulder.“Can I come back here tonight?”

“Yeah,” Colby said, blinking at him.“Sure, any time.”

_I really hope you mean that, because I plan on taking full and regular advantage of that offer._ “How about eleven?”Charlie asked thoughtfully.It would better to have a plan than just show up here at 2 AM again.“I need to spend the evening with my dad, prove to him I haven’t gone off my rocker.Then I’ll be here.I’ll even bring a change of clothes.”He touched his stubbly cheek.“And a razor.” __

“Don’t worry about the razor,” Colby said unexpectedly.“I’ll give you a shave.”

_Why would he?_ Charlie gave a mental shrug, figuring that this was one mystery that would resolve itself without his working on it.There were enough mysteries he needed to figure out. _Such as what I feel about this man in front of me …_

He leaned over and gave Colby a soft, wistful kiss.Pure physical attraction was so much easier than this jumble of emotions and desires.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said, then got dressed and let himself out the door.The world outside was warm, sunny, and, with a full night’s sleep in him, manageable.

 

Charlie was back in Colby’s bed the next night.It had been very hard to break away from his father and brother but he’d succeeded.He hadn’t wanted to know how they’d react to his odd sleeping arrangements, so he hadn’t given them a chance to disapprove.

Then he’d arrived here and Colby had actually seemed surprised to see him.Hadn’t Charlie told him he’d be here?Yes, he was late, but Colby had still looked unsure.Charlie had kissed him, trying to reassure him, then had needed to pull back from that tantalizing precipice, from the urge to shove Colby down onto the couch and crawl into his lap.He was going to have to stay at the very top of that slippery slope or else risk letting Colby know how much his body yearned for him. _Only lip kisses for now._ Climbing into bed, with them both wearing just shorts, had tested Charlie’s new resolve.He’d had to keep his lower body carefully away from Colby so that Colby wouldn’t feel his definite erection.

As he lay in Colby’s arms, Charlie felt all his daily tension slip away. _Safe._

How long did it take ribs to heal anyway?


	3. Vanishing numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colby pounces.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 3 **  
Pairing:**

Charlie/Colby

 **  
Rating:** NC-17, FRAO **  
Summary:** Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 3 - Vanishing numbers  
Colby pounces.  
 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
 **Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
 **A/N:** New year and back to longer fic! As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 8 or 9 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

 

********Part 3 - Vanishing numbers** **

The next weeks were both delightful and painful.Delightful because of the time he got to spend with Colby, learning the man’s sly humor and quiet intelligence.Painful because the only touches Charlie allowed himself were the one morning kiss, the lovely morning shave and, of course, sleeping in Colby’s strong arms.Colby went back to work, light duty only, and life mostly returned to how it had been before the kidnapping, except for their sleeping arrangements.

Charlie grew used to the constant frustration, used to jacking off in the shower in the mornings, used to keeping his eyes and hands off of Colby as much as possible.Then, one seemingly-routine night, Colby pounced.

As Charlie pushed open the door to Colby’s apartment, his mind was full of numbers and formulations for Don’s latest case.He should bounce his latest theory off Colby.Colby was such a good listener and surprised him with the occasional very insightful question.

Before he could even say hello, his folders were knocked to the floor and he was pressed against the wall, Colby’s mouth on his.His lips automatically opened for Colby’s tongue and his arms went around Colby’s shoulders.The world of numbers abruptly vanished in a puff of heat and hunger.Kissing Colby was as wonderful as Charlie remembered.He wanted, he wanted … _Better make sure._

He broke apart from Colby, gasping for air, and asked, “Colby?”

Colby’s grin was positively gleeful.“Got cleared for active duty today,” Colby said, pressing Charlie’s hand against that spot on his ribs that had given him so much trouble.“And I plan some very active duty indeed.”

“Finally!”Charlie said with a groan.He shucked his self-imposed control and reached for Colby.This time he kissed Colby like he’d wanted to since that first night, his lips rough and demanding with long-suppressed need.

Colby kissed him back just as urgently, one hand on the back of Charlie’s head and other on Charlie’s ass, molding Charlie’s body against his.

_Now, now, now, now._ Blood pounded through Charlie’s body, throbbing in his ears and fingers and groin.Charlie pushed Colby toward the couch and climbed into his lap, their mouths re-meeting with bruising force.

Colby’s hands were working off Charlie’s vest and shirt, but Charlie was too impatient for a touch of that lovely chest.He yanked up Colby’s shirt and slid his hands underneath.Colby’s skin felt hot to his touch and Colby shivered.

Charlie explored that broad, muscular chest with his fingers while Colby’s mouth traveled over his face and down his neck, nipping at his pulse points.Charlie found the two sensitive nubs he was seeking and began to rub and twist them.Without breaking their connection, Colby stripped off his shirt.He then lifted his head and pulled Charlie’s shirt the rest of the way off, a button pinging off in his haste.Charlie laughed but the button was instantly forgiven with the assault of Colby’s hungry mouth on his chest.

Colby’s hands slid underneath Charlie’s jeans, brushing the top of his ass.Charlie could feel the hard shape of Colby’s cock against his inner thigh.That made far too many layers between his skin and that cock.

Fumbling, Charlie tried to get Colby’s pants open.Colby aided him, barely pausing in his teasing of Charlie’s nipple.Colby was too slow in pulling down his zipper and Charlie took over.As soon as he could, he shoved his hand into his fly and gripped Colby’s hard cock through his underwear.It was thick, huge, and Charlie’s mouth watered.Charlie rubbed the cock through the fabric as Colby yanked down Charlie’s jeans.

Colby moved, then the world tilted and Charlie found himself with his head down and his legs up in the air.

“Hey!” Charlie protested as he was forced to give up his hold on that tantalizing cock.

Ignoring his protest, Colby yanked off Charlie’s jeans and underwear.His head swooped down and sucked Charlie’s cock into his mouth.

Charlie moaned at the sudden and intense attack on his cock.Colby’s lips and tongue worked him and Charlie was quickly squirming in pleasure, his hands holding tight to Colby’s legs.Colby added a hand to his attentions and Charlie groaned.

“God, Colby,” he panted.His orgasm was rising far too quickly under the onslaught. “Wait, _wait_ , not yet.”

Colby lifted his head at the last possible second.

“Not yet,” Charlie begged.He wanted his turn.He held up his hands and Colby pulled him back up.

Charlie slammed his mouth against Colby’s, his tongue diving between those strong lips.Colby’s hands went to Charlie’s ass and reminded him that he was considerably less clothed than Colby.

Moving back, Charlie tugged at Colby’s jeans.“Off!”

Colby grinned and set Charlie next to him on the couch.Colby began to strip as Charlie watched in anticipation.Sliding down his jeans, Colby exposed underwear that almost made Charlie orgasm unaided.Colby’s ass was uncovered, only two bands running from his groin to the waistband of the underwear.He turned and Charlie saw that his cock and balls were held in a small pouch. 

_Damn._

Then Charlie forgot entirely about the underwear as Colby unveiled his cock.Charlie grabbed him, and pulled that thick cock close enough to take into his mouth.Charlie whimpered in pleasure as that large, hard organ slid between his lips.Colby tasted sharp and sweaty and wonderful.

Charlie quickly got to work, sucking Colby in and out, enjoying Colby’s groans and the fingers clenching spasmodically on his shoulders.He looked up at Colby’s face to see him watching avidly.His green eyes were slits, his lips wet and parted, his nostrils flaring as his breaths came short and heavy.

Colby gasped, “Together,” and tugged at Charlie’s shoulders.Charlie reluctantly released him.

Pushing Charlie back against the couch, Colby straddled his legs.He took Charlie’s cock in one hand and braced himself with the other.Charlie wrapped both hands around Colby’s saliva-wet cock.

Colby’s lips met Charlie’s, his tongue probing deep as his hand stroked Charlie with an intoxicating motion.Charlie’s orgasm quickly rose again and he rubbed Colby urgently.Then Colby was shaking, shuddering, pulsing between Charlie’s hands.Hot cum splashed across Charlie’s chest.Charlie moaned and followed Colby, jerking and thrusting against Colby’s large hand.

They gasped and moaned and pumped for a long moment, driven by weeks of waiting.

Finally, they came to a finish and leaned against each other, breathing harshly.Charlie kept his grip on Colby’s cock, not wanting to let it go, now or ever.

_At last, at last.And it was already worth waiting for._ “I’m gonna,” Charlie said, panting.“Send your doctor a thank-you card.”

Charlie felt more than heard Colby’s responding laugh. “I had all these plans.None of them involved hand jobs on the couch.” __

 _Oh, I have many more plans myself.All of them involve you naked and in bed._ Charlie laughed.“The night is still young.”

Colby moved to look at the time.“No, it’s not.”

Whatever time it was, Charlie couldn’t care less.He had a lot of catching up to do.Colby wasn’t getting out of it with just a hand job.“Forget the time,” Charlie said firmly.“I think you’ll be calling in sick tomorrow.”

“Or calling in healthy,” Colby laughed.He sounded as thrilled and giddy as Charlie felt.“Wonder what they’d make of that – ‘I can’t come into work, because I feel great.’”

Charlie finally released Colby’s cock to run his fingers over Colby’s firm stomach.He drew a swirl and mixed their cum together on that smooth, lightly-haired skin.“You do feel great,” he murmured fervently.“Better than great.”

 


	4. The math of supernovae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie approves of Colby's job performance.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 4 **  
**Pairing: Charlie/Colby **  
**Rating: NC-17, FRAO **  
**Summary: Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 4 - The math of supernovae  
Charlie approves of Colby's job performance.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
**Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author!  
**Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
**A/N:** New year and back to longer fic! As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 8 or 9 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

 

**Part 4 – The math of supernovae**

  


Colby untangled his naked body from Charlie’s, leaving Charlie feeling cold.Colby climbed off the couch and walked towards the bathroom.Charlie watched him go, his eyes riveted to that incredible ass.It was the most beautiful ass that Charlie had ever seen, even better than Don’s.

Grabbing a towel, Colby came back into the room.He was wiping his hands then just stopped and looked at Charlie.Charlie was glad for the pause so he could drink in the sight of those strong hips, flat stomach, sculpted chest.Charlie’s recently spent body was already reawakening.

He smiled and reached out to Colby, wanting his hands back on Colby’s smooth skin.Colby walked slowly toward him, his eyes sweeping over Charlie.Charlie felt himself flush under that gaze.He hoped he didn’t look too stupid, naked and sweaty and draped over the couch.

As Colby walked forward with the towel, Colby’s expression said he liked what he saw.Maybe it was because his cum was dripping down Charlie’s stomach, like a territorial marking.Charlie didn’t mind being marked, especially not by this gorgeous man who was standing tantalizingly out of his reach.

Charlie impatiently wiped himself down with the offered towel then tossed it aside.Finally, Colby came close enough that Charlie could run his hands over those muscular legs.

“Even though I was pretty out of it in the hole,” Charlie said. “I could tell you had the nicest legs.I was lying against them for hours, you know.”

Colby touched Charlie’s hair and said, “Yeah.”

Charlie had been all too aware of Colby’s whole body during that time.He would manage to forget then he would shift or Colby would shift and Charlie would be reminded all over again.A few times, he’d even deliberately twitched his wounded leg, to fight off an uncomfortable erection. _It’s a good thing I didn’t know what Colby was hiding under that fly, or else I wouldn’t have been able to resist the urge to turn around and give him a blowjob._

That thought made Charlie’s hands go higher, and they slid over Colby’s hips, stomach and chest.He’d wanted to do that for a long time.

Charlie murmured, “And the first night that I came over to the apartment and you were just wearing those little shorts…It was a good thing that I was so dead tired because I really wanted to jump you right then, broken ribs or not.”

Colby smiled down at him.“You did look awful that night.”

_And you looked good every morning …_ Charlie looked up at Colby and his cheeks grew hot.“Every single morning that I woke up in your bed, in your arms, I had to jerk off in the shower.” _Sometimes twice._

Colby laughed.“Here I just thought you took long showers.”

“I feel like I’m fifteen again and waking up with a hard-on every morning,” Charlie admitted with a self-conscious smile.“But when I was fifteen, I didn’t have the object of my … interest in bed with me.” _If I had, I wouldn’t have been able to resist rubbing myself off against you.Guess I’ve learned at least a little self-control since then._

Colby sat down and Charlie went eagerly into those warm, naked arms.Colby smiled, saying, “When you were fifteen you already had the whole Math world at your feet.”

Memories of those times flooded back to Charlie – memories of awkwardness, frustration, joy and confusion.He grimaced.“And not one girl who would talk to me.”

“Probably not,” Colby said and pressed his lips against Charlie’s hand.“You are pretty intimidating.”

With his free hand, Charlie lightly touched Colby’s shoulder, tracing the muscles.“But you’re not intimidated.”

“I sure as hell am,” Colby said.

Charlie blinked. _Why on earth would he be?Just seeing him in SWAT gear makes me feel safer.Horny as hell but safer too._ “Why?You’re as good at your job as I am at mine.” __

“Charlie, _nobody_ is as good at their job as you are.”

Charlie felt disgusted.This was an old argument that he seemed to have with everyone he’d ever known.Then he brought himself up short.He was in Colby’s arms and he wanted to argue about job proficiency?

He smiled at Colby.“What if I gave you a new job, one I think you’d excel at?”

Colby leaned closer.“And what job would that be?”

Charlie licked his lips and slid his hand down Colby’s chest.“One I think you’re eminently qualified for.” _I know you have the equipment …_

“Yeah?” Colby kissed the inside of Charlie’s wrist, making his heart rate jump.

Charlie’s whole body began to pulse.There was something he wanted, wanted so bad that he was afraid to ask.So, instead of asking, it came out as sort of a husky command, “Fuck me.”

Colby’s sharp intake of breath was all the answer Charlie needed.“Now that,” Colby said, “is my kind of job.”

Colby stood up and reached down to Charlie.“Up, up,” he said, pulling Charlie to his feet.“Go to the bedroom, I’m right behind you.”

Starting to walk, Charlie felt Colby’s eyes on him.On his ass.It made Charlie feel sexy, an unfamiliar sensation.He’d been told he was cute or handsome, but never sexy.David had called him beautiful.Under Colby’s gaze, Charlie felt desirable, sexy, hot.

He walked into the bedroom feeling like a porn star.He climbed onto the bed, got on all fours, and looked back at Colby, a deliberately provocative pose.

Colby’s eyes widened and he groaned, “God, Charlie.”

Charlie shivered at the raw lust in Colby’s voice.Colby climbed onto the bed and stroked Charlie’s back and ass.He kneeled between Charlie’s legs and pressed his cock against Charlie’s asscrack.

_Yesss._ Charlie trembled with anticipation.

To Charlie’s frustration, Colby seemed determined to take it slow.His hands moved leisurely over Charlie’s body, warming him but at the same time calming him, soothing the urgency.Charlie gave himself over to Colby’s sure touch.

Colby’s hands and mouth roamed over Charlie’s body, exploring it.His tongue left a hot, wet trail down Charlie’s spine and his fingers left ticklish trails across Charlie’s chest and hips.Charlie shivered as Colby’s tongue slid along the crease where Charlie’s ass met his thighs.

As Colby’s hands slid over Charlie’s legs, Charlie felt a little envious.He wanted to touch and discover Colby’s body. _Being greedy again._ He closed his eyes and concentrated on Colby’s touch.

Unexpectedly, Colby licked the back of Charlie’s right knee.It was surprisingly sensuous.Then he hit a ticklish spot on Charlie’s ankle and Charlie laughed and jerked away.

Colby gave the right leg the same treatment, but didn’t let Charlie pull away this time when he hit the ticklish spot.Laughing uncontrollably, Charlie tried to twist out of Colby’s grip, but Colby held him tightly.

“Colby, stop it!” Charlie begged, unable to catch his breath.

Colby let him go and grinned.“That’s for being such a sexy minx.”

Delight flashed through Charlie.It had been a long time since anyone paid him a compliment that pleased him more.Certainly the first time that such a compliment hadn’t involved math.He opened his mouth to tell that to Colby, but Colby was focused back on Charlie’s ass. _Right where I want him to focus._

Colby ran his thumb between Charlie’s ass cheeks. Then he grabbed Charlie, yanked him close, and drove his tongue into Charlie’s waiting asshole.

A blast of arousal shot through Charlie and he gave a gasping moan.All thought and considerations vanished.All that existed was Colby’s firm, wet tongue and Charlie’s universe moved with it, swirling around, diving in, thrusting.

Sounds were coming from Charlie’s mouth but he had no idea what they were.He felt himself go limp, but Colby held him up, that tongue driving Charlie almost to orgasm all by itself.

Colby finally released him, and Charlie slumped to the bed, eyes closed, mouth still leaking noises.He felt Colby move away and get off the bed.The sound of lube being squeezed out of a bottle sent a shiver of anticipation through him. 

The bed moved and Colby was back behind him, running a finger, cold and wet with lube, down his spine.Charlie shivered harder and opened his eyes.

_Your cock in my ass NOW._ “Fuck me,” he begged.

“That’s my job, remember?”Colby teased.Then Colby hesitated and said, “I … I …” He sighed.“I’m sorry, but I’m not very good at dirty talk.”

Confused, Charlie turned and looked at Colby.“Why would you think that you had to …?”

“David said that –“

Charlie shook his head. _You’re Colby, not David, remember?_ “David is good at dirty talk.I like it when he does it because he’s good at it.”He grinned at Colby, thinking of the last half-an-hour.“There are plenty of things you’re good at.”

Colby smiled back, looking relieved. “Hope so.”

_I know so,_ Charlie thought as Colby’s wet finger returned to tracing Charlie’s spine.That finger finally reached its destination and circled it.Charlie spread his knees, trying anything he could think of to encourage Colby to move faster.Colby wasn’t listening, but the slow, gentle press of his finger into Charlie’s asshole felt so good that Charlie realized there was something to be said for slow.

Charlie closed his eyes as Colby loosened him, warmed him, though Colby’s tongue had done most of the work already.Then Colby touched his prostate and Charlie moaned involuntarily.

Colby stroked that spot and pleasure surged through Charlie, his body almost undulating with the waves that radiated from his prostate.Or was the pleasure a particle, moving through him on an atomic level with-- _Oh god that feels good._

Colby’s finger withdrew and Charlie groaned in protest.Colby massaged his back and legs, and Charlie tried to catch his breath.His throbbing cock grew a little less aching and he was able to slow his trembling.

Before Charlie had completely recovered, he felt pressure at his asshole and Colby slid two fingers inside.The pleasure rose up again, more quickly, more sharply, as Colby’s fingers tormented him.Charlie squirmed and moaned helplessly as pleasure took control of all his brain cells, all his muscles.

The fingers withdrew again, and Charlie bemoaned their loss.Colby kneaded his back and legs again until Charlie’s breathing slowed.Colby lifted him up and put a pillow under his belly.His fingers grazed Charlie’s cock with the lightest of touches, making Charlie whimper with mixed impatience and complaint.

Charlie’s complaints vanished as Colby kneeled over his ass.His strong hands gripped Charlie and raised him.Charlie felt the thick head of Colby’s cock at his asshole and his breath rushed out in satisfaction and anticipation.

Colby slowly pressed into him, stretching him, molding his ass around that huge cock.

_God yes perfect._

Leaning forward, Colby set Charlie down on the pillow.Then he hesitated.

Charlie frowned and looked over his shoulder.Colby was biting on his lip and looking unsure.Charlie had seen that expression far too many times in his life.It said, ‘Poor little Charlie, such a lightweight.’

Charlie grumbled, “Don’t hold back now.I’m not made of glass.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Colby protested.

“I’m tougher than I look.”Charlie snapped, irritated that this would come up now, of all times.Colby’s cock was in his ass and Charlie was desperate for movement. “If you hurt me, I’ll say ‘Ow’ and you’ll know.Otherwise, don’t worry about it, okay?”

Colby laughed.“Okay.”

And then Colby was moving inside him and all irritation fled.It felt better than anything Charlie had ever felt or could even imagine.Charlie arched his back and moaned his approval.Colby’s pace began slow and oh so gradually increased.Charlie didn’t even want to compute the rate of acceleration, he simply soaked in the sweet, throbbing pleasure.

Charlie gripped the blanket and pressed his forehead against the pillow.The only point of contact between their sweating bodies was Colby’s thick shaft plundering his ass.Charlie’s aching cock slid against the mattress with each thrust of Colby’s hips.Charlie held on to the bed with all his remaining muscle control, which wasn’t very much.Their two bodies were white dwarves colliding in the depths of space, generating more energy than could be contained, as they rushed toward a supersonic detonation.His own moans echoed in his ears like blast waves. _Fusion … shaking … thermonuclear … God … Colby … please …_

_Colby!_

The universe died and reformed around him, his atoms intermingled with the stars.His body merged with Colby’s, one white-hot explosion that burned from the beginning to the end of time.

Eventually, Charlie came back to himself piece by piece – the pillow against his cheek, the harsh sound of his breathing, the wet heat of his cum dripping across his stomach, his hands spasming in their clutch on the blanket.Shuddering tingles still swept over Charlie’s body like lingering shock waves.Colby was wrapped around him, murmuring his name.

Charlie could only whimper, stunned.

“Angel?” Colby asked, his voice rough with exhaustion and emotion.“You okay?”

_Yes.I think I just died._ “Uh-huh,” he managed to mumble.“What wazzat?” __

“What do you mean?” Colby said.Charlie felt Colby’s hands shaking slightly as they pushed back Charlie’s hair.

“Was like _bam_ and _oh_ and _wow_.”

“Ah,” Colby said with a smile in his voice.“Sounds like a prostate orgasm.”

_Must remember to add ‘prostate orgasm’ under the causes of supernovae._ “Please, sir.Can I have another?” __

Colby laughed.“I don’t think you’d survive it.”

“Willing to try …”Charlie wasn’t sure that his body was in any way ready for another detonation, but his brain screamed for more.More pleasure more sensation more Colby.

Colby gently pulled out of him and Charlie stifled a protest.He wanted Colby to stay in his ass forever.An eternity of Colby’s body pressing down on him, warming him, sheltering him and possessing him.

“Greedy boy.” Colby said.

“Yeah.” _You have no idea._

Charlie heard Colby get up and go to the bathroom.He kept his eyes closed as Colby rolled him over and wiped him clean.Colby lifted Charlie and held him effortlessly in one arm as he straightened the blankets.He lay Charlie back down and climbed into bed himself.Charlie used his last ounce of energy and rolled into the warm circle of Colby’s arms.

It was so right to be lying in Colby’s embrace, feeling exhausted and thoroughly fucked.This was heaven.Just needed one more thing to be perfect – the symmetry of Colby also feeling thoroughly fucked.

He mumbled against Colby’s skin, “Gonna fuck you now.Just need … a minute …”As he faded into sleep, Charlie felt Colby holding him tightly.


	5. Negative and positive imprints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie explores and makes impressions on Colby.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 5 **  
**Pairing:Charlie/Colby **  
**Rating: NC-17, FRAO **  
**Summary: Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 5 - Negative and positive imprints  
Charlie explores and makes impressions on Colby.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
**Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author!  
**Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
**A/N:** Today is a nice long part.  As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 8 or 9 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

  


**Part 5 – Negative and positive imprints**

 

Charlie woke, Colby’s arms still around him.He smiled happily and rubbed his cheek against Colby’s arm.For the first time in months, he woke up without a hard-on.However, the feel of Colby’s naked body against his skin was rapidly changing that.

What was demanding immediate attention, though, was his bladder.Charlie squirmed out of Colby’s grasp.Colby gave a soft sigh and rolled over.Charlie padded to the bathroom, feeling the lovely, stretched sensation in his ass that came from having been recently fucked. _And what a fucking it was …_

Charlie hummed to himself as he used the bathroom.No need to jerk off this morning.His next orgasm was gonna be deep in Colby’s lovely ass.

Walking back out into the bedroom, Charlie was brought up short by the sight of Colby lying naked in the sunlight.He was lying on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes, his body outlined in the golden rays of the sun, like some Grecian god.

_Sweet Jesus,_ Charlie thought as his heart gave a heavy thump. _That man is mine, all mine._

Charlie moved closer, holding his breath so that he wouldn’t disturb the divine vision.As he approached the bed, he saw the smooth skin was broken in many places, marred by scars both old and new.

He kneeled down beside the bed, feeling an irrational rage towards everyone that had dared to damage Colby’s body.Softly, he touched Colby’s chest.

Colby’s eyes fluttered open and Charlie felt him tense, looking around until he saw Charlie.He relaxed and reached towards Charlie’s face.He ran a finger down Charlie’s cheek.

Charlie met Colby’s eyes, feeling something between sadness and anger.“So many scars,” Charlie said quietly.He touched a wide patch on Colby’s shoulder.This close, he could see a scattering of tiny white scars.

“Shrapnel,” Colby said, his voice tightening with emotion.

Charlie knew he should leave the subject alone but he had to know, needed to try and catalogue the ugliness which marred the beauty.He wanted to ask for more details, sensing that in these injuries was a key to Colby’s past and to the man he was now.But Charlie was too afraid to ask.He didn’t want to bring up bad memories, negative feelings.And he feared what he might find out.What if he couldn’t handle it?What if Colby’s past was so awful that he couldn’t deal? _I’ll ask him later._ Right now, he wanted to explore Colby’s body, imprint it on his eyes and fingers.

He traced a long white scar along Colby’s flat stomach.

“Knife,” Colby said.

He touched a faint dent on Colby’s neck.

“Bullet.”

Charlie blinked.“In your _neck_?”

“Better than my head.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Charlie said, trying and failing to strike a light tone.“Your head is so hard the bullet would have probably just bounced off.”

“Probably.”Colby’s voice was tense, uncomfortable.

Despite Colby’s discomfort, Charlie couldn’t stop.His questing fingers found marks across Colby’s chest, left arm, then down both legs.Some were probably signs of a rough-and-tumble childhood, but many, too many, were relatively fresh.

“Lots more bullets.”Colby said tightly.“Sorry that you have to see all that.”

“Sorry?”Charlie said, looking up at Colby’s face.“Why would you be sorry?It’s part of you.” _And I want to know all of you._

“Not exactly the good part.”

Charlie rubbed his finger against a bullet scar and didn’t respond right away.

_Any one of those injuries could have killed him if they’d been a little deeper, a little to the left, a little longer until treatment._ Charlie swallowed against a surge of fear and anxiety.He had the overwhelming urge to never allow Colby to get hurt again. _Yeah, he’d laugh if you tried to protect him._ Well, Colby didn’t have to know.Charlie would do his math for the FBI perfectly, never make a mistake that would put Colby in the line of fire.Charlie pressed his lips together and made a vow that he pretended he could keep.

He looked up at Colby, who was watching his face closely.Charlie shrugged and lied, saying, “It doesn’t bother me.”

Colby looked unconvinced.It did bother Charlie but probably not how Colby thought it did.The scars didn’t make Colby less attractive in Charlie’s eyes, just showed that he needed someone to watch after him.Good thing Colby was in the FBI now, where Charlie could keep an eye on him.

Charlie smiled, knowing how to prove how attractive he found Colby.“Scoot over and let me show you.”

Colby slid over and Charlie climbed onto the bed.Still on his knees, Charlie gave Colby a kiss of promise.Colby responded carefully, like he was still unsure of Charlie’s mood.

Leaning over, Charlie explored Colby’s face with lips and fingers.He delighted in the rough scratch of stubble along Colby’s square chin, the smile lines around his lips, the smooth curve of his ears.Colby’s hair was at one of its longer stages and Charlie slid his fingers through it, finding it thick and soft.He rubbed his cheek against it and made a mental note to rub other parts his body against it too.

Colby’s intense green eyes were fixed on Charlie’s every movement.Charlie smiled and kissed those eyelids closed.Charlie’s lips found their way down Colby’s wide neck to the bullet wound.He sucked on it gently, acknowledging it, accepting it.

Shifting his body, Charlie kissed his way over Colby’s chest and shoulders, lingering on each scar and old wound.He nosed and kissed the area over his recently healed ribs. _A wound for my sake.Never again._

He looked up at Colby, feeling a tender possessiveness.“So, have I convinced you yet that I think your body isn’t marred and ugly?”

“Maybe,” Colby said, a little breathlessly.“Though a little more convincing wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Smiling, Charlie returned to his slow exploration.He marveled at the muscular definition of Colby’s chest and stomach.He gave just a quick lick to Colby’s hard nipples and moved on.He completely skipped Colby’s tempting cock and balls, knowing that if he paused there, he’d never get any further.Charlie caressed every mark and scrape that he found, covering Colby’s hips and legs with touches and kisses.

Charlie reached Colby’s feet and, after giving them careful attention, said, “Turn over.”

Colby turned over and Charlie made his way up Colby’s legs, ass, back, once again pausing at each scar.With every kiss, he reclaimed territory that had been injured, trying to replace pain with comfort.He discovered the mostly healed wounds in Colby’s ass and back where bullets and flying concrete had grazed him a month and half earlier.Charlie placed a special kiss on each one of these marks, willing them to fade completely.

Finally he reached Colby’s head and licked the back of Colby’s neck.He said softly, “Now have I convinced you?”

“Yes,” Colby said dreamily.

Charlie grinned.Now that he’d acknowledged all the negative scars, Charlie wanted to place his own positive imprint on that lovely body.

“Good!” Charlie said, leaned over, and bit hard on Colby’s neck.

“Ouch!” Colby yelped.He turned over and grabbed Charlie’s face.Charlie found the movement of Colby’s body underneath him more than interesting.

“What was that for?” Colby asked, though he didn’t look too annoyed.

“I want to make my own marks,” Charlie grinned and tried to catch Colby’s fingers between his teeth.

“I don’t need any more,” Colby laughed, keeping his fingers away from Charlie’s teeth.

Charlie shrugged, but he was thinking, _Yes, you do, one more – from me._ He pushed Colby back against the mattress. “Guess I’ll have to mark you another way.”Charlie kissed Colby hard, like his bite.He was delighted when Colby’s mouth submissively opened up to him.He drove his tongue between Colby’s lips, experimenting with this new sensation of control.

Stretching out, Charlie laid full length on top of Colby.Colby’s large hands slid down Charlie’s body, molding them closer together.Charlie shifted slightly, his whole body rubbing against Colby, in particular, his cock against the hard shape of Colby’s.

“Finally,” Charlie said, continuing to rub their bodies together.“I can do something fun with my morning hard-on.”He burrowed his fingers into Colby’s thick hair.

“Oh?” Colby said, and Charlie could feel Colby’s hands wandering towards his ass. “What do you have in mind?”

_Oh no, you don’t.My turn._ Charlie leaned down and bit Colby’s earlobe, reminding him who was on top. “I believe I proposed something in particular last night, before you fell asleep.”

“Before _I_ fell asleep?”Colby laughed.

_I’m sure you fell asleep at some point …_ “Yeah, you wore yourself out fucking me,” Charlie’s heart rate increased at the memory.“Poor boy, such a tough job I gave you.”

Colby’s eyes widened and he seemed to be remembering the same thing.He could feel Colby’s muscles tense, like he was getting ready to flip Charlie over and fuck him again.Charlie reveled in Colby’s obvious desire for him.It was like heat against his skin. __

Colby said, “I deserve overtime.”

“What, the benefits of the job aren’t sufficient?”Charlie asked playfully.Colby tried to kiss him but Charlie moved just out of reach.

Colby gave a deep sigh.“With the long hours of fucking, tedious constant orgasms, never knowing what shape you’re going to be in the morning …”

Charlie laughed, charmed again by Colby’s wry humor.Colby took advantage of Charlie’s distraction to yank his face close and kiss him thoroughly.Charlie felt himself melting into the kiss.He pulled away, breathless, trying to regain his sense of control.

Rolling off of Colby, an act of supreme willpower, Charlie climbed off the bed.He was thrilled to see Colby reaching after him.It felt so good to be wanted.With David, Charlie had always felt like a cherished toy.Colby made him feel like a man - a sexy, desirable, attractive man.Charlie grabbed Colby’s outstretched hand and kissed it.

He summoned up a commanding voice, modeling it on Don’s, and said, “Up.On your knees.”

Colby grinned and got to his hands and knees in front of him.

Charlie stroked Colby’s round ass and completely ruined the effect of the commanding voice by saying, “Wow, you really have a nice ass.”

Colby laughed and said, “About time you noticed.”

Swallowing a surge of arousal, Charlie managed a laugh.“All of me is noticing now.” _Oh yeah, is it noticing._ Charlie’s cock felt an almost magnetic pull towards Colby’s ass. _Must study this phenomenon further …_

Charlie spread Colby’s cheeks apart and began rubbing Colby’s asshole with his thumbs.Part of his brain noticed the physical differences between Colby and David, while the rest of him was saying things like, ‘where’s the lube?’ and ‘now, now’ and ‘wow, he has a really nice ass.’

Charlie slid off the bed and went to the side table.He laughed and avoided Colby’s attempts to grab him.Condom and lube in hand, Charlie let himself be drawn back toward Colby’s ass.

His hands were almost shaking with impatience as he squirted some lube onto his fingers.He touched Colby, who jumped at the cold sensation.Charlie felt a wicked smile form on his face.He took his cold, wet fingers and stroked Colby’s balls.Colby sucked in a breath and goose bumps spread across interesting parts of Colby’s body.Smiling wider, Charlie reached further and lightly toyed with Colby’s hard cock.Colby gave a muffled whimper.

Charlie wanted to tease Colby more, but that meant delaying himself as well.He returned to Colby’s asshole and slowly pressed one finger through the tight ring of muscle.Colby shivered.Charlie carefully slid a second finger in.Colby’s ass seemed to welcome his intrusion.

_An ass made to be fucked,_ Charlie thought, remembering something David had once said.

Charlie withdrew his fingers and fumbled with the packaging on the condom as it slid from his lubricated hands.He managed to get it open and the condom on before Colby could offer to help.

Guiding his cock with one hand and spreading Colby’s ass with the other, Charlie slowly pushed into Colby.He groaned in sheer pleasure as the tight canal swallowed his cock. He paused for a moment, letting Colby adjust to his presence.

He looked at the back of Colby’s neck and saw a bright red mark where he had bit him earlier. _Marked ‘Charlie only,’_ he thought with delight.

“Yes Colby only Charlie,” Charlie murmured and closed his eyes, the better to focus on the feel of Colby wrapped around him.He held on to Colby’s hips and slowly began to move.

His fingers pressed into the muscles on Colby’s hips and he moved fractionally faster.He tried to figure out what was the perfect rate of acceleration but the numbers danced and swam through his brain.He gave up and just stroked.

“Charlie …”

Charlie’s eyes fluttered open.Colby’s head was turned around at an awkward angle.

Colby said huskily.“I want to see you.”

_I like that idea …_ As soon as Charlie could get his body to obey, he pulled out of Colby and moved away.Colby rolled onto his back and put a hand under each of his knees.He pulled them up and to the side, offering Charlie the most intoxicating display of his intimate areas.

_Sweet Jesus,_ Charlie thought for the second time this morning. _This man is mine, all mine._

Charlie leaned down and mouthed Colby’s balls then tickled with his tongue what David called “The Miracle Inch”, the inch of skin between the balls and the asshole.Moving farther down, Charlie’s tongue found the wet, warm, stretched asshole and pressed inside.He licked and teased until Colby gasped, “Get back in!”

His face hidden, Charlie grinned then put on his most innocent expression.He lifted his head.“Yes, Agent Granger?”

“Charlie,” Colby groaned.“I didn’t want you to stop, I wanted to see you.”

Giddy with power, Charlie looked at Colby through his eyelashes.“See me what?”

Colby shook his head, his face bemused.“What I meant is I want to see you fuck me.”

That sent a thrill through Charlie.David wasn’t the only one who could talk dirty.“Mmm,” he said graciously.“Anything to help the FBI.”

Leaning over Colby, Charlie braced himself.He quickly aimed and buried his cock back into Colby.Colby let go of his knees and wrapped his legs around Charlie’s. _This is nice.I didn’t even know you could do it facing each other …_

Charlie lowered himself slowly until he was lying fully against Colby’s firm body. _Okay, this is more than nice.Might be my favorite new position._

Colby seemed to agree, giving a happy sigh.Charlie braced himself up on his elbows and slowly began to move again.This position was really rather lovely.He could feel Colby’s hard cock rubbing between their stomachs and Charlie could look down into Colby’s face.Colby was watching him avidly, his hands sliding along Charlie’s sides, then cupping his face.

The sweet urgency of orgasm began to rise in Charlie and he started to speed up.Colby’s hands were in his hair and stroking his scalp with a rhythmic pulse.Charlie sped up even more, his eyes closed, his breath coming in short pants.He pushed himself up to his hands, bracing against Colby’s shoulders, so he could thrust harder.

Colby suddenly groaned, his fingers clenching in Charlie’s hair and his heels digging into Charlie’s thighs.Charlie felt the hot splash of Colby’s cum across his stomach and the spasming of Colby’s ass.Then his own orgasm took hold and threw him into a frenzy of thrusting, banging against Colby’s ass, holding onto Colby’s shoulders to avoid flying off into space.

Charlie slowed down very gradually, riding the orgasm as long as he could.He opened his eyes, blinking against spots in his vision.

He looked down into Colby’s face.Colby was gazing up at him, his face flushed, his green eyes shining.

_So this is what love looks like._

And in a moment of perfect clarity,

_This is what love feels like._

Before Charlie could pursue that thought, his shaking arms gave out and he collapsed onto Colby’s chest.

He lay against Colby’s warm body, his breath coming in gasps, and whispered, “Eureka.”

“What was that?” Colby asked, stroking Charlie’s hair.

Charlie lifted his head and looked at him, feeling like he’d never seen Colby before, like he’d been created at this moment in time to be here, now.

Colby stroked Charlie’s cheek.“Is something wrong?”

“No,” Charlie murmured.“Nothing in the universe is wrong.”

But that wasn’t true.The clarity of his vision was fading.It had been a purely emotional, primal moment and his brain was now spinning into gear, analyzing it, dissecting it, destroying it.

_It was just endorphins speaking_ , said his treacherous brain. _Some sort of orgasmic biochemical reaction_. _It’s not love._ ‘Yes it is!’ Charlie wanted to cry, but he wasn’t sure any more.How could he know if it was love?There was nothing to go on but poetry and sappy songs.He began to feel anxious, despite Colby’s fingers running down his back.

He was sure that Colby sighed. _What could he be thinking?You just had sex and now you’re moping?He deserves a lot more than that._

Charlie took a firm mental grip on himself. _Charles Edward Eppes_. _Stop overthinking the hell out of everything.It’s good, you’re happy, okay?_ _Okay._

_Better break this silence…_ He groaned and said, “If we don’t clean up, we’re going to be permanently stuck together.”

Colby looked up at him, smiling.“There are worse fates.”

Colby’s smile made Charlie feel like it actually was okay and he smiled warmly back.Figuring it was his turn to clean up, Charlie crawled off the bed and retrieved a towel.He wet it and cleaned himself off.He returned to the bed and gently cleaned Colby off.

“At this rate,” Colby mused.“I’m going to have to do laundry before I can take a shower.”

“Oo, a shower,” Charlie said. _Those are fun!_ “Let’s do that.”

Colby laughed.“I don’t think my shower stall will handle two.”

Charlie frowned, picturing the shower stall in his mind and running the numbers.“We can squeeze.I’m pretty sure of my geometry.”

“Okay, we can try it,” Colby said.“But not just yet.”

Charlie had already started toward the bathroom.“Why not?”

“God, I need at least a quick breather!” Colby grumbled.

_Well, now that you mention it …_ “Ookay.”Charlie gave a dramatic sigh, but he needed a break too. _Doesn’t mean I have to go far._ He crawled back onto the bed and rested his chin in his hands, on Colby’s chest.The position felt so natural, even though they’d been lovers less than 24 hours. _Lovers,_ Charlie repeated to himself happily.

Colby pulled on the nearest stray curl.“When do you have to go into work?”

Charlie shrugged.“I don’t have any classes today and I’ll just blow off office hours.My students are used to that by now.They’ll just think I’m working a case for the FBI.”

“Well, you are,” Colby teased.“I’m FBI and you’re definitely working me.”

“True,” Charlie said, feeling a grin stretch his face.

Colby grabbed for his cell phone, Charlie holding on and moving with him. _You’re not getting away that easily._

Colby cleared his throat and pressed a speed-dial number on his phone.

“Don,” Colby said with studied casualness that even Charlie could see through. “If there’s nothing in particular you need me for, I’m gonna take a personal day, if that’s okay.”

“Yep,” Colby responded to some unheard question. “Doctor cleared me yesterday for active duty.”

A pause then Colby’s cheeks grew pink.“Umm, okay.See you tomorrow.”

He hung up the phone and smiled sheepishly at Charlie.“Don says ‘Hi.’”

Charlie stared at him.“He knows?”It came out as a squeak.

“He’s known for a long time.”

_How in the world … he promised!_ Charlie’s heart began to pound.“And he’s okay with it?” __

Colby nodded slowly.“Mostly okay.”

Charlie’s eyes narrowed. “At least he didn’t beat you up.… Did he?”

“No, no,” Colby laughed.“He just gave me some stern warnings.”

Charlie gritted his teeth, imagining that particular conversation.“Always looking out for me.”

“You need looking out for,” Colby grinned and stroked Charlie’s cheek.“Or else you’ll get yourself into all sorts of trouble.”

Charlie blinked then began to relax. _Don knows, and he’s okay with it ... A huge hurdle overcome._

Charlie responded to Colby’s grin with one of his own. “Like being in bed with a naked man who has one thing on his mind?”

“I don’t just have one thing on my mind,” Colby said, drawing a finger along Charlie’s lips.“I have many things on my mind, all lascivious.”

Charlie relaxed the rest of the way and focused back on Colby.“Ooh, a big word for an army guy.”

“I’m a big army guy.”

“I’ll say,” Charlie laughed and ran his hands down Colby’s sides.“There’s got to be entire inches I haven’t explored yet.” _Including a number of prime inches between your legs …_

“Can’t have that,” Colby said, his hands sliding along Charlie’s arms.“And there are many inches of you that need a more thorough exploration.”

Shucking all his fears and confused thoughts, Charlie grinned, “All in the name of science,” and leaned down to make an in-depth study of Colby’s lips.


	6. Invisible equations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie finds out why Colby got a wrestling scholarship.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 6 **  
Pairing:**

Charlie/Colby

 **  
Rating:** NC-17, FRAO **  
Summary:** Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 6 - Invisible equations  
Charlie finds out why Colby got a wrestling scholarship.  
 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
 **Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
 **A/N:** As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 9 parts long. Thanks to my beta.

 

Colby was right about his shower stall.It would have fit two people, except when one of them was the size of Colby.He and Charlie tried squeezing in, but just ended up soaking the bathroom floor, getting soap everywhere, and laughing themselves silly.Finally they settled for watching each other shower.Charlie shut the shower curtain most of the way and peeked around the edge.The sight of soap sliding down Colby’s body was enough to completely revive Charlie’s libido.He’d definitely have to get Colby into a bigger shower.Maybe his shower and tub at home …

When it was Charlie’s turn to shower, he felt pretty self-conscious.The habits of showering took over, though, and he shampooed his hair, humming under his breath.He used the soap to lather up his body.

When he got to washing his cock and balls, he turned to look at Colby and grinned.“Wanna watch?”

Colby chuckled appreciatively.“I’d love to, but not today. You’ve been out of reach for too long already.”

“Good,” Charlie said, quickly rinsing himself off.“Solo is boring anyway.I’d just be closing my eyes and thinking of you.”

“No need to close your eyes anymore,” Colby said, his voice turning husky. “I’m right here.”

“You are indeed,” Charlie said and turned off the water.

Colby pulled back the shower curtain and yanked the wet Charlie into his arms.He kissed Charlie thoroughly.His lower body rubbing against Charlie’s demonstrated that it wasn’t only Charlie’s libido that had been revived.

Charlie grinned and pulled away.He needed to get a brush through his hair before it got too bad.He opened the drawer under the sink and fished out his brush.As he tried to drag it through his curls, Colby ran his hands up and down Charlie’s body.He began kissing Charlie’s back and shoulders, making it very hard to wield the brush.

Charlie slid out of Colby’s grasp and ducked into the bedroom.Colby laughed and came after him.Charlie brushed his hair with one hand while fending Colby off with the other.Soon he was forced to start throwing pillows at Colby, then blankets and bunched-up sheets.

Quite by accident, Charlie discovered that Colby was ticklish around his ribs, and he got a few more brush strokes through his hair before Colby snatched the brush away and tossed it aside.

“If it dries like this …” Charlie warned, but Colby ignored him and closed in.

Colby grabbed Charlie and slammed him to the bed.Charlie’s breath whooshed out and his pulse sky-rocketed.He grabbed Colby and attempted to wrestle him down.Colby easily slipped his grasp, yanked Charlie up, and slammed him to the bed again.

Charlie began to pant with arousal.Colby looked down at him, concerned.Charlie didn’t have breath to explain how turned on he was by being thrown around by Colby.Instead, he made another attempt to wrestle with Colby.It was futile, but it got the point across.

Colby grinned.“You want to try it rough, hmm?”

Charlie gulped and nodded.

Laughing, Colby lifted Charlie up, spun him around and shoved Charlie face-first onto the bed.Charlie seized the sheet and tried to pull himself further up the bed.Colby grabbed Charlie’s right wrist, putting just the right amount of pressure on it to force Charlie to give up his grip on the sheet.Colby then fluidly flipped Charlie back over and climbed up onto the mattress.He pinned Charlie down and grinned at him.

Charlie grinned back and tried to free himself from Colby’s grasp.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Colby teased.“You might have gone to college on a genius scholarship, but I went on a wrestling one.”

Before Charlie could process this new piece of personal information, Colby slid his right arm around Charlie’s neck and wedged his other arm and elbow behind Charlie’s knee.Colby’s hands locked, folding Charlie in half.Charlie gasped and wiggled, but Colby’s powerful arms held him tight.

Colby released him, only to wrap his legs around Charlie’s torso and bend him backwards.Charlie grabbed at Colby’s arm, and Colby flipped Charlie over.With Colby’s arm under his left shoulder and around his neck and his right wrist pinned behind his back, Charlie was stuck. He could feel the hard shape of Colby’s cock against his left asscheek.Charlie clutched at the sheets, struggling for leverage.

Charlie felt completely helpless, a new and electrifying feeling.Colby could fuck him right now, dry and condomless, and there wasn’t anything Charlie could do about it.Charlie whimpered in arousal, wanting Colby to take him, use him, own him.

Unfortunately, Colby misinterpreted the sound and released Charlie.“Sorry,” Colby said, not breathing hard at all. “Got a little carried away.”

“Liked it,” Charlie gasped.“More?”

Colby laughed and Charlie was suddenly turned over and spun around, the sheet still clutched in his hand.Colby swiped the sheet aside and pushed Charlie flat on his back onto the bare mattress. Charlie grabbed for any body part he could reach but Colby twisted from his grasp.In a very short time, Charlie found his head and shoulders pinned between Colby’s muscular legs, his back bent into a curve, and his legs spread wide.Colby’s left leg lay across Charlie’s collarbone, his left knee and calf holding down Charlie’s left arm.Colby’s right leg was under Charlie’s middle back, while Colby’s upper shoulders pinned Charlie’s pelvis to the bed, forcing Charlie’s back into an arc.Colby’s right elbow braced Charlie’s right leg up and to the side, Colby’s left hand pressed Charlie’s left leg down and away.

Charlie gasped as the warm, wet heat of Colby’s mouth enveloped his cock.Charlie moaned in pleasure at the rough way Colby was sucking him, while still keeping the rest of Charlie’s body in a taut, rigid arch.Charlie struggled, more to feel his powerlessness than believing he could break free.He didn’t want to break free.

_Oh god._ His body was starting to ache from the strain of his position, set against the pleasant sort of ache that was growing in his cock.He could feel Colby’s cock against the side of his ribcage, rubbing slightly as Colby’s head moved between Charlie’s legs.Charlie tried to reach his left hand around Colby’s hips, tried to reach that cock, but he was stuck fast.

Colby’s pelvis started to rock, grinding his cock against Charlie’s side.Colby’s movements quickly sped up, thrusting himself against him.Charlie panted with excitement as he realized that Colby was going to use his imprisoned body to get himself off, without any involvement or approval from Charlie.Charlie chewed on his own lip, the only release he could find for the intense arousal coursing through his body.

Colby’s mouth turned even rougher on Charlie’s cock, his lips demanding Charlie’s cum as his just due.Helplessly, Charlie felt his orgasm rise, like an implacable force gathering in his pelvis.Then he was moaning, shaking, letting loose his orgasm into that insistent mouth as his body thrashed against Colby’s tight grip.

Slamming Charlie sideways, Colby came, his cum shooting across Charlie’s side, his legs tightening, his pelvis crashing into Charlie again and again as he took his pleasure against Charlie’s trapped body.Charlie’s breath rushed out with each impact.

After a few more stuttering slams, Colby came to a stop, his cheek lying against Charlie’s inner thigh.Colby licked Charlie’s softening cock, cleaning up any stray cum, then he released his grip on Charlie and rolled off.

Charlie unfolded slowly, feeling soreness in his muscles and the lingering tingle of orgasm.Turning around, Colby lay down next to Charlie and drew him into his arms.

“Angel, did I hurt you?”Colby asked, brushing Charlie’s wet, tangled hair off of his forehead.

Still gasping, Charlie shook his head ‘no’.He knew that he’d have a bruise on his side tomorrow, but it had been more than worth it.In just one morning he’d experimented with being in control, and being completely out of control.He’d liked the first and loved the second. _So many more things to learn …_

“You are amazing,” Colby murmured.“I will never get enough of you.”

“I hope not,” Charlie gasped.

“I know I won’t,” Colby said, wiping Charlie clean with a corner of the sheet then bunching it up and tossing it onto the floor with the rest of the discarded linen.Colby lay flat on the bare mattress and pulled Charlie up onto his chest.Charlie rested against Colby’s firm body, feeling like he’d just run a marathon but could run another with just a few minutes’ rest.

His breath still uneven, he propped himself up on one elbow.Colby was staring fuzzily at the ceiling.Smiling, Charlie began drawing invisible equations on the smooth, wide surface of Colby’s chest.

He played with making up equations that involved Catalan's Constant (G), the twin prime constant (C2), the natural logarithmic base (e), then attempting to throw in the Newtonian constant of gravitation (G), the speed of light in vacuum (c), and any other constant he could think of that was usually represented by a ‘c’, ‘e’, or ‘g’.

Charlie hummed to himself.Don would say that it was Charlie’s equivalent of writing his and Colby’s initials and drawing a heart around them.

  



	7. Charlie plus Colby equals what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Colby spend a leisurely day together.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 7 **  
Pairing:**

Charlie/Colby

**  
**Rating: NC-17, FRAO **  
**Summary: Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 7 - Charlie plus Colby equals what?  
Charlie and Colby spend a leisurely day together.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
**Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author!  
**Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
**A/N:** As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. Thanks to my two betas.

  


Charlie got to the end of his equations, but he didn’t know where to go from here.If he added up the Charlie variable and the Colby variable, what did he get?

He couldn’t exactly ask Colby, “Am I in love with you?”Maybe, though, he could offer Colby some of his thoughts and see where it went.

Charlie gathered his courage and said, “Did David tell you how I found out about him and Don and you?”

“Yeah,” Colby said. “You came to Don’s apartment and found David there.They told you about Watson.”

Charlie felt Colby put an arm under his head so he could look down at Charlie, but Charlie kept his eyes on his invisible writing, not sure he wouldn’t lose his nerve if he looked up.

“Um-hmm,” Charlie responded.“I didn’t understand it at all, and I felt I really needed to understand it.I knew at the time that, in theory, I could approach you.That I could ask you to show me what was so great about … sex with guys.”

“But?”Colby’s voice was tight.Charlie looked up to see that Colby’s eyes were wary.

Charlie tried for a casual shrug.“But the idea terrified me.I focused entirely on David.I think now that I discarded the idea of approaching you because I knew that … being with you would mean something entirely different than with David.” _And I was right, dead right._

“How so?”

“Sex with David is fun – God, it’s fun – but it’s on a purely physical level.”Charlie smiled, remembering hours of glorious entertainment.“He wants me and I want him and we give each other a ton of pleasure.”

_Wrong thing to say,_ Charlie realized too late as Colby looked away from him, his jaw clenched.Colby must now think that Charlie saw him as just another playmate.Nothing could be farther from the truth … whatever the truth was.

Charlie touched Colby’s cheek and turned his face back to meet Charlie’s eyes.“With you, it’s different.You make me feel incredible, better than incredible.When we … it’s not just sex.It’s like having sex with our bodies and our souls.Does that make any sense?”Charlie winced internally at the banality of his statement, but Colby at least seemed mollified.

“Yes,” Colby said, sounding as if it had made more sense to him than it had to Charlie.

Charlie thought a little bit more, then grinned.“Okay, maybe not the first round.That was all sex.”

Colby smiled, the memory of it in his eyes.“Sex and way too long waiting.”

_But was that all?Just the anticipation?_ Charlie returned to writing his equations, hoping that an answer would be in the numbers somewhere.

Colby stirred underneath him.Begrudgingly, Charlie rolled onto his back and let Colby climb off the bed.

“We need food,” Colby declared, and walked out of the room.

Charlie stared at the ceiling, but the blank ceiling offered no insights. _Why do you need insights, anyway?You’re overthinking again._

Colby called from the bedroom doorway, “Do you like omelets?”

Charlie stirred from his contemplation and sat up. He was starving.“You can cook?”

“A little,” Colby said.“Can’t do take-out all the time.”

Charlie smiled and climbed out of the bed.“I make a decent spaghetti sauce,” he said, stepping around pillows, used towels, and piles of blankets.

“Well, nothing to make that with,” Colby said, “so it’s gotta be omelets or … something else that’s mostly eggs.”

“Omelets are fine,” Charlie said.“Got any cheese?”

“Hmm?” Colby asked.

Charlie laughed, thrilled again by his hitherto unknown ability to entrance someone by his naked body.“Cheese, G-Man.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Colby said.“And ham and some tomatoes that look okay.”

“Sounds good.” Charlie brushed by Colby’s naked body without a kiss or touch, a sign of how hungry he was, and went to sit down at Colby’s small kitchen table.

The white plastic chair was cold against his naked body but Charlie didn’t mind.He leaned his chin on his hands and looked at Colby.Colby was framed by the bedroom door, his broad shoulders nearly spanning the width of the doorway.Charlie wished he had a camera, and could record this perfection of manhood in this precise moment.

‘Perfection’ was a pretty strong word, but Charlie was rapidly becoming obsessed with Colby’s body.Okay, he was already fully obsessed.He wanted his hands, his mouth, his eyes always on that body.Charlie’s own body languidly reminded him of the things that Colby had already done to him.Nothing in Charlie’s life had prepared him for the last eighteen or so hours.He didn’t know how many more orgasms he or Colby had in them, but he was hoping there was at least one more each …

Charlie smiled at Colby.“Come on, I wanna see you cook naked.”

Colby raised his eyebrows.“Finding a new fetish?”

_Fetish … Maybe that’s what it is, not love._ Fetish was safe, quantifiable.“Dunno.Can you have a person-fetish?” 

Colby gave him a look that Charlie should probably have been able to interpret, but Colby just said, “Want to see a trick a buddy taught me?”

“Just as long as it can be done naked.”Charlie felt stupid and shallow as soon as the words left his mouth, but Colby just laughed.

Colby got out eggs, a bowl and a knife.“Watch!” he said then tossed an egg into the air.It came down right on the knife edge, splitting neatly, the insides going into the bowl and the broken shell still sticking to the knife.

“Cool,” Charlie said, resisting the urge to explain why such a feat was possible with surface tension and fluid dynamics.

Colby smiled and tossed another egg.This one didn’t land as nicely and Colby had to pick some pieces of eggshell out of the bowl.

Charlie just watched as Colby added more eggs and then the tomatoes, cheese, and ham.He enjoyed the way the muscles in Colby’s arms flexed as he stirred the mixture, the way his leg muscles moved as he walked to the stove.As Colby cooked the omelet, Charlie’s eyes went to the package between Colby’s legs.He hadn’t yet gotten the chance to get up-close-and-personal like he’d wanted to with that cock.David had indulgently let Charlie explore his cock once, and Charlie wanted to compare.

Forget comparing Colby’s cock, he wanted to adore it.

Colby finished up the omelet and got out two plates.Charlie was amused to see that Colby had a full set of nice, matching stoneware plates. _Wonder if he got them or was a present from a hopeful mom for her son entertaining girls._

Charlie pushed the question of Colby’s family aside.It belonged in that big box labeled “Colby’s past” that Charlie was afraid to open.

He was happily diverted by Colby putting a plate of delicious smelling food in front of him.Colby also set down a fork and a napkin.

“OJ?”Colby asked.

“Please,” Charlie said.

Colby got both of them a glass of orange juice and they ate in comfortable silence.

“This is good,” Charlie said. 

“Pretty basic stuff,” Colby replied.“Bachelor’s food.”

“Still.” _Better than I can do.Then again, I’ve never lived by myself, not really._

Charlie looked across the small table at Colby who was eating his own half of the omelet.Colby seemed distracted, chewing his food thoughtfully.Charlie wanted Colby to look up, to smile at him. _One smile of approval from Colby is beginning to have the same electric effect on me as_ … he realized with a start … _as one from Don._ A smile which warmed him, embraced him, made him want to do anything it took to get another such smile.Was it possible that Colby in such a short time—

Charlie shook himself, cutting off his own thoughts as well as he could. _You’re sitting here naked in a room with the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen, who not only is also naked, but seems to like you.Get your head back into the now._

Quickly, Charlie finished his omelet and set down his fork.He slid out of his chair onto the cool linoleum floor.

“Charlie?” Colby said in alarm and began to scoot his chair back.

“Stay still,” Charlie commanded.He crawled underneath the table and pushed Colby’s naked knees apart.He tried to move in between them and bumped his head on the underside of the table.“Okay,” he relented.“Scoot back a little.”

Colby pushed his chair back and looked down at Charlie, a question on his face.Charlie ignored him and pushed Colby’s legs back apart.He slid in between Colby’s knees and focused on the object of his pursuit -- Colby’s cock, lying dormant against his body.This time, Charlie was going to take the time to thoroughly enjoy that thick cock, lavish all the attention on it that it deserved.He licked his lips and moved in.

  


 

They spent a lazy day together.For the sake of warmth and comfort, they pulled on some clothes.Getting out some board games, they followed their usual agreement of one game of Chess to one game of Scrabble.They were both improving and the wins were growing slightly less lop-sided.

As usual, the Scrabble game involved yanking out the dictionary.Colby had invested in the Official Scrabble Player’s Dictionary, so he could turn aside any of Charlie’s complaints about reliable dictionaries.Charlie totaled up the scores in his head while still insisting that “pognophobia” was a valid word, and Colby teased Charlie for knowing the word for “fear of beards.”

After Scrabble, Charlie picked up his folders from the entranceway and told Colby about his latest theory for Don.Colby asked him just one question, but it completely reframed the problem, sending Charlie off on a new and more productive path.Colby sat on the couch and watched TV while Charlie lay across his lap and scribbled madly in his notebook. 

When Charlie was done, he looked up to tell Colby and realized that Colby had, sometime before, turned off the TV and closed his eyes.Charlie got up and snagged a throw from the back of the chair.Kissing Colby’s cheek and murmuring softly, Charlie got Colby to lay flat on the couch without really waking up.Charlie lay down on top of him and pulled the blanket over them both.Charlie lay with his chin in his hands on Colby’s chest, watching Colby’s face.

Sometimes, when Colby was awake, his past showed in his face, shadows of terrible things seen and done.Charlie would try to tease or joke those shadows away, but wasn’t always successful.Occasionally, Charlie woke in the middle of the night to see those shadows on Colby’s sleeping face too, and Charlie knew that Colby was having a nightmare.Charlie would talk softly to him and stroke his cheek, breaking his self-imposed rules about touching Colby.It had never failed to soothe Colby, and soon his shadows would fade and he would look as he did now – young and at peace.Charlie curled his hand against Colby’s throat, feeling the throb of his pulse.What had Colby done without him to banish the nightmares?Charlie closed his eyes and the steady rise and fall of Colby’s breathing lulled him to sleep.

Charlie opened his eyes an hour later, waking to what seemed like a pleasant dream.Colby was watching him, running his fingers through Charlie’s hair.Colby smiled at him, and with delight, Charlie remembered that this wasn’t a dream.He kissed Colby warmly and they made slow, sensuous love on the couch.Charlie found himself on the bottom, under Colby’s solid body, and he wrapped his legs around Colby and dug his hands into Colby’s shoulders.Colby fucked him to the beat of his heart.

Afterwards, when Colby tried to move off of Charlie and pull out of his ass, Charlie wouldn’t let him.Colby shrugged and lay back down.Charlie reveled in the full weight of Colby pressing down on him and Colby’s ample cock softening in his stretched asshole.It made breathing a little difficult, but Charlie couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Around dinnertime, they called for pizza to be delivered.After the pizza guy left, Colby made some glib comment about the pizza guy’s ass.Charlie was surprised by a sharp surge of jealousy and had to cough to hide his emotions.Why did it matter so much to him what asses Colby looked at?Charlie downed a large gulp of Pepsi and began coughing for real.

Colby and Charlie shared a ham, pineapple and green and black olives pizza – a combination that they both loved but usually couldn’t get anyone else to eat.Colby put on the old Sci-Fi classic, “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” and they settled in to watch and critique it.Colby’s wry comments soon had Charlie laughing.

Later, Charlie asked Colby to strip to just his sexy jock strap underwear.It was as delicious and enticing as Charlie had remembered.Colby grinned at Charlie’s reaction.Colby claimed that he wore the jock underwear because it was comfortable and what he was used to, but Charlie suspected Colby was more than aware the effect it had on his lovers.Charlie held onto the straps while he fucked that round ass, making Colby orgasm inside his cotton pouch.

That night, Charlie slept in Colby’s arms, feeling warm, safe, and utterly satisfied.Tomorrow would be soon enough to think. Tonight the only math he cared about was Charlie plus Colby equaled complete contentment.


	8. Logical anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie goes to Larry for help.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 8 **  
Pairing:**

Charlie/Colby

 **  
Rating:** NC-17, FRAO **  
Summary:** Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 8 - Logical anxiety  
Charlie goes to Larry for help.  
 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
 **Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
 **A/N:** As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. It will probably be 9 or 10 parts long. Thanks to my two betas.

 

 

**Part 8 – Logical anxiety**

“Larry?”Charlie called, looking into Larry’s office.It was empty and Charlie frowned in frustration.He was desperate to talk to Larry and couldn’t find him.If only Larry had a cell phone …

Charlie had left Colby’s that morning in a considerably less equanimous frame of mind than he had gone to sleep in.Okay, to be more honest with himself, he was confused, worried, and scared to death. He’d spent the entire morning staring at a chalkboard without getting anything done.

Now he was wandering around Larry’s empty office and wondering what to do next.Checking his watch, he realized it was lunchtime.He turned and quickly hurried across the campus to the cafeteria.There he was relieved to see Larry sitting by himself, a piece of bread stalled halfway to his mouth as he stared off into space.

“Larry!”Charlie said.He grabbed a chair and sat down.

“Charles,” Larry said, blinking.He gazed down at Charlie’s empty hands.“You forgot your food.I’ve done that before.They’ll hold it for you for a few minutes.”

“I’ve got to talk to you!”Charlie said urgently.

“Well, you’re talking to me now, so you’ve already accomplished your objective.”

“No, about something in particular.”

“It’s very difficult to not talk about something in particular.Even if you use the greatest generalities, the mind will apply the determiners to a specific instance of personal interest.”

Charlie looked around.The cafeteria was too crowded.“Grab your lunch,” he said, “We need to go somewhere private.”

Larry made mild protests as Charlie picked up his tray and bundled Larry out the door.Practically dragging him, Charlie hastened across campus to Charlie’s office.He set Larry’s tray down on the desk and shut the door.On second thought, he locked the door. _You never know when someone will drop by._

From his seat at Charlie’s desk, Larry looked at him with raised eyebrows.“I’m glad that you’re so eager for my undivided attention, but was it necessary—“

“Larry,” Charlie said urgently.“How do you know if you’re in love?”

Larry blinked then tilted his head.“I’m guessing that this isn’t merely an academic exercise?”

“No.”Charlie acknowledged.

“Well … that’s a question that’s puzzled philosophers since time immemorial.Perhaps if you gave me more details of your particular conundrum?”

Charlie threw himself into a chair.“Oh God, where to start?”

“’At the beginning’ is the usual retort, I believe.”

“The beginning,” Charlie mumbled.“Larry, do you remember when I got kidnapped?”

“I could hardly forget,” Larry said with gentle reproof.

“Right, right.”Charlie frowned.“That wasn’t actually the beginning, though.The beginning was more …Do you remember that conversation we had way back when, when I … found out … that Don and David … in his apartment?”

“Yes,” Larry said.“You were quite distraught.”

“Yeah, well, I followed your advice and talked to Don.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”Larry picked up his half-finished piece of toast.

“But I still didn’t understand.So I decided to … find out for myself.”

Larry’s hand stopped on the way to his mouth and his eyebrows shot up.“As in …?”

Charlie flushed.“As in sleep with David myself.”

“I see …”

“It was your idea.”

Larry’s head snapped back.“How was that my idea?”

“You said I was trying to form a hypothesis without data, so I … went and got data.”

“Alright,” Larry said slowly, “I’m sure that wasn’t the intent of my statement, whatever the statement was at the time.”

“Maybe not,” Charlie acceded.“But I did.”

“And?”

_And it was good, incredible, right.Like something I’d been waiting for all my life._ Charlie cleared his throat.“It was good.And I continued … seeing David.”

Larry nodded.“Interesting.And did this have the world-ending consequences that you foresaw?”

Charlie eyed him.“What do you mean by that?”

“At the time of our conversation, you seemed to think that Don having relations with men required you to disassemble your entire model of human understanding.I can only imagine that you yourself having such relations would precipitate an even greater crisis of faith.”

“Well, not at first,” Charlie said, then admitted, “I tried really hard to not think about it.”

“Not an unexpected reaction.”

Charlie stood up from his chair and began to pace.Larry quietly ate his toast then retrieved a spoon and began on something white and mushy in a bowl.Charlie picked up a Rubik’s Cube and fiddled with it.If Larry was to help him, he needed to know it all …

“Larry,” Charlie said.“You’re my best friend.”

“Why, thank you, Charles,” Larry said with a smile.

“And I don’t want to jeopardize that, I don’t want to tell you what I have to tell you, but I … have to tell you.”

“I will do my utmost to refrain from judgment,” Larry said, his face instantly serious.He set down his spoon and focused on Charlie.

Charlie paced for another moment, flipping the cube in and out of completion.The telling wasn’t going to get easier by waiting.Larry watched him patiently.

“There was this night,” Charlie said at last.“I went up to meet David, because I thought he had invited me to this hotel room and everything but it turns out that I read the situation wrong because Don was there too.”

Larry waited.

Charlie gave the cube one last wrench and slammed it down on the desk.“David, he … talked us into it.It wasn’t my idea or Don’s idea, it just … happened.”

Larry’s eyebrows rose.

Charlie dropped back into the chair and put his head in his hands.“David got Don and I to … do stuff with each other.You know, _sex_ stuff.”

There was silence and Charlie slowly raised his head.Larry was staring at him.His hands were on both cheeks and his jaw was hanging open.

“You …” Larry said slowly.“With _Don_?With your brother? _Don_?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said miserably.“Yeah.Not … everything, but yeah.But Larry … it was good, _really_ good.And … and I …” Charlie grimaced.“I realized that I’d been wanting to do that with Don for a long time …”

“Oh.”Larry said, continuing to stare at him.

“Yeah, ‘oh.’”Charlie groaned.“What am I supposed to do with a sexual attraction to my _brother_?”

Larry broke off his stare and rubbed his cheek.“Well,” he asked in his thoughtful voice.“What did you do with it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, after this one … encounter, was there a reoccurrence?”

“No!”Charlie snapped.“No.Don and me, we set some ground rules.That we would never do anything like that again unless it was with a third person.”

“Okay.But weren’t things awkward with you and Don afterwards?”

“Oddly enough, no,” Charlie said with a shrug.“I guess we were both able to compartmentalize it.”

“That’s good.It would be a shame for you to have damaged the positive relationship that you’ve developed with your brother over the recent years.”

“Yeah,” Charlie sighed.“Damaged.”

“But, Charles,” Larry said quietly.“You obviously weren’t able to entirely compartmentalize it.You sound like you were quite disturbed.”

“I was … I _am_.”Charlie ran a shaky hand through his hair.“See … I’m afraid.I’m afraid … ” _God, I can’t even say it._

Larry came around the desk and put a gentle hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “What are you afraid of?”

“That I’m … that I’m …”Charlie put his hands over his face.

“Gay?” said Larry softly.

Charlie’s head snapped up and he glared at Larry.“What, does everyone know but me?”

“No, no,” Larry said quickly, waving his hands.“I personally had no thoughts in that direction until this very moment.It was just a logical source of your anxiety.”

“Logical,” Charlie said bitterly.“Logical would be to be normal.”

“Not at all.Normality has nothing to do with logic.Normality is only defined by the set of common behaviors of a population, and no one I know would claim that humans, in general, act in a logical fashion.”

Charlie pondered that for a moment.

“Charles,” Larry said, his hand still on Charlie’s shoulder.“I have to ask, in order to understand the nature of your dilemma, are you in love with Don?”

“Huh?”Charlie blinked.

“Are you romantically inclined towards your brother?”

“No!”Charlie snapped, then more quietly.“No, thank God.He … attracts me physically but that’s it.”

“Though you have always, shall we say, idolized him.”

“Yeah, but I think that’s normal for a younger brother.”

“Perhaps not to the extent that you do.”

Charlie frowned at him.“But … he’s _Don_.He’s, well, _Don_.”

“Exactly,” Larry said, pulling up a chair to sit by Charlie.“That sort of idolization, coupled with physical attraction, can often be interpreted as romantic love.”

“Urgh,” Charlie said.“Now we’re back to the original question – how do you tell if you’re in love with someone?”

“Is it your brother that you are trying to define your feelings towards?”

“No,” Charlie shook his head.“No, there’s more to the story.I feel about Don what I think I’ve always felt about him, just not acknowledged to myself.I love him, of course, but not _love_ love.”

Larry nodded, looking somewhat relieved.“I’m glad.That would be a complex problem indeed.”

“So you remember when I was kidnapped, of course.”

“Of course.”

“Colby and I … we thought we were gonna die there.So I sort of pressed Colby as to how he felt about me.I’d noticed certain behaviors by him that made me wonder if he … liked me.”

Before Larry could comment, Charlie said, “Yeah, yeah, if I noticed it must have been totally obvious to everyone else.”

“I can’t say I ever noticed such behavior.”

“So I asked him,” Charlie said.“And he admitted that he was in love with me.”

Larry’s eyebrows went up again.Charlie thought wryly that Larry should just leave them in that position.

“Yeah,” Charlie shrugged.“Who would have guessed?A big, macho Army guy like that liking me.”

“There is something to be said for opposites,” Larry said generously.

“Then we went and survived the kidnapping.But afterwards?I couldn’t sleep.”

“Understandable,” Larry said.“I’ll admit to losing some sleep myself, knowing that you were taken right here from campus.”

“I eventually figured out that what I needed in order to sleep was Colby, you know, holding me so I felt safe.”

Larry nodded thoughtfully.“He saved your life so it is logical that he could make you feel safe.Coupled with the knowledge that he had romantic feelings towards you, turning to him seems a rational step.”

“Yeah.”Charlie rubbed his cheek, remembering those long agonizing nights before he had figured out that he needed to be in Colby’s bed.“At first it was just sleeping, but that lead to … an awakening of physical desire that remained unconsummated for quite a long time because of Colby’s injuries.”Charlie smiled.“And then yesterday and the day before … wow.Colby’s ribs were better and it was incredible and I don’t think it was just the anticipation.God, it was incredible.”

Charlie leaned forward, saying earnestly.“I like being with him too, in a non-sexual sense.He’s really gentle and surprisingly smart and funny and patient.And we have a lot more in common than you might think.And, well, he loves me, and seems to always love me, not just come and go.I spent a great deal of time with him over the last month and a half and he’s really a great guy.”

“So now you’re wondering …” Larry said.

“Yeah, wondering if I am in love with him,” Charlie said.“I don’t know how to figure it out.And … and …” Charlie cleared his throat and continued more quietly.“And I worry that I’m just … attracted to Colby because of his … somewhat physical similarity to Don.”

Larry looked at Charlie for a long moment.Charlie flushed.What would Larry think of him now?He’d just admitted to multiple terrible things – homosexuality, incest, promiscuity …

“Larry?” Charlie asked tentatively.

“I can’t say that I ever expected this, but I’m glad that you felt you could come to me.”

Charlie rubbed his hands together nervously.“And?”

“And … I think that you have answered your own question.”

“What?”

“You come to me with a dilemma and, as is often the case, you already have the answer.”Larry smiled at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You told me that you are physically attracted to your brother.”

Charlie winced.It sounded even more horrible when Larry said it out loud.

“But,” Larry continued, “You said that you weren’t in love with Don.”

“Right.”

“So you’re attracted to your brother but know you aren’t in love with him.You’re attracted to Colby – regardless of the reason – but aren’t sure if you’re in love with him.How do you know that you’re not in love with Don but wonder if you’re in love with Colby?”

Charlie frowned. _Good question._ If he was so sure that he wasn’t in love with Don, he must already have some unconscious definition of love that his feelings towards Don did not match.He hated unconscious definitions.

“Do you love Megan?” Charlie asked.

“I am of that belief, yes.”

“How did you decide that you were?”

“I don’t think my definition would aid you any, since I’m more comfortable with existential, non-tangible ways of thinking than you are.”

“Math is non-tangible,” Charlie protested.

“Not to you,” Larry said.

Charlie shrugged and had to agree.Numbers were as tangible to him as the chair underneath him, the air he breathed, the impression on his visual cortex of Larry sitting in front of him.

A loud knocking on the door and a call of “Dr. Eppes!”

Charlie glared at the door.

“Dr. Eppes,” the voice said relentlessly, “Your Numbers Theory class was supposed to have started ten minutes ago.”

Charlie groaned and pushed up from his chair.It was probably just as well.He had a feeling that he’d gotten as much as he could from conversation with Larry.Charlie felt closer to an answer, but not close enough.Certainly not close enough to allow him to admit his confused feelings to Colby.

With a sigh, he went to teach his class.


	9. Defining the indefinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie has something to tell Colby.

**Title:** It Changes Everything: Charlie, Part 9 of 9 **  
Pairing:**

Charlie/Colby, Alan

 **  
Rating:** NC-17, FRAO **  
Summary:** Charlie's POV during "It Changes Everything"  
Part 9 - Defining the indefinite  
Charlie has something to tell Colby.  
 **Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. **  
Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
 **Warnings:** **Slash, M/M**  
 **A/N:** As the summary states, this story is portions of "[It Changes Everything](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/8800.html)" told from Charlie's viewpoint. This is the final part. Thanks to my two betas.

 

**Part 9 – Defining the indefinite**

During his class, Charlie was able to forget his pressing question, but after the last student left, his anxiety came flooding back.He looked at his watch and decided that his father was probably home.He was going to have to talk with him. _Obviously leaving a great deal out of what I just told Larry._

He drove home, his head swimming with words and numbers and feelings, all merging with each other into a muddy mess.He pushed open the door with a sense of deep tiredness.

“Dad?”Charlie called.He looked into the kitchen, looked in his office, and finally found him reading in the solarium.“Dad?”

Alan blinked sleepily and set the book down.“Hello.”

“Dad, I, umm, have a friend who wants to know something and I thought, I told him that I would ask you, since you, umm, would know, probably.”

Alan rubbed his cheek and sat up straighter.“You have a question?”

“No, my friend does and well, yeah.”

“And that is?”

Charlie cleared his throat, then asked, “How do you know if you’re in love with someone?”

Alan gave him a too-knowing look.

Charlie opened his mouth to say, ‘It’s not Amita,’ but decided to let his father think that for now.He sat down on the chair nearby.

Alan leaned back and steepled his fingers together.“Let me ask you, what do you think ‘love’ means?”

Charlie was ready for this question.He’d memorized the definition from the Oxford English Dictionary.“It is ‘That disposition or state of feeling with regard to a person which (arising from recognition of attractive qualities, from instincts of natural relationship, or from sympathy) manifest itself in solicitude for the welfare of the object, and usually also in the delight of his or her presence and desire for his or her approval.’”

Alan shook his head and laughed.“Not a bad definition.”

“Of course not,” Charlie said huffily, “It’s the OED.”

Alan smiled.“So love is caring what happens to someone and wanting to make them happy.”

“That’s it?”

“Sure.You can love a family member, love your country, love a friend, as well as loving a spouse.”

“That’s it.” Charlie repeated.

“It varies in intensity and flavor, but yeah.”

Charlie frowned.Could it be that simple?He certainly cared what happened to Colby and wanted to make him happy.Maybe it was this ‘flavor’ that differentiated his feelings toward Colby from another friend.He sighed.‘Flavor’ was another hard to define word.

Alan reached over and put his hand on Charlie’s arm.“What are you really asking?” he asked gently.“Are you asking for permission to love this person?”

Charlie blinked. _Maybe I am._ He felt strongly about Colby.His feelings toward Colby matched any definition of romantic love that Charlie could dig up.Larry had helped Charlie realize that he already knew he loved Colby.

“You don’t need permission from anyone,” Alan continued in that same gentle voice.“Love is one of the greatest joys of life and you don’t need to justify or explain who you love.”

Charlie looked at Alan and, for that moment, he could imagine that his father knew who he was in love with and was giving his permission.A warm rush of joy flowed over him.He squeezed Alan’s hand and stood up.

“Thanks, Dad,” he said, his throat tight.

Alan nodded, smiled, and sat back.

“I … I gotta go,” Charlie said.

Alan’s smile widened.“I won’t expect you back tonight.”

“Thanks,” Charlie said again.“And … just thanks.”

Charlie rushed out the door, feeling clear-headed and energized.He needed to see Colby.He had something to say to him.

Charlie barely managed to wait until eight o’clock before showing up on Colby’s doorstep.It was several hours earlier than he’d ever come over before, but he didn’t think Colby would mind.In fact, Charlie probably didn’t need to wait that late, but he was reluctant to change too many things at once.The beginning of physical intimacy two days ago had been a significant change in their relationship, and he was about to introduce another change.

When Colby opened his door, he also seemed to have something on his mind.Charlie shut the door behind him and grabbed Colby for a ‘remember me’ kiss.Colby returned his warm kiss then stepped back.

Colby cleared his throat and said, “How about we go out to a movie tonight and dinner?Somewhere public?”

That was unexpected, but it was early enough for dinner, for a change. _Wait a minute …_ “Colby, are you asking me out on a date?” __

“Yes … if you want to.”

Charlie couldn’t help a smile.“You’ve done it all backwards.First you tell me you love me, then I move in, then we have sex, then you ask me out on a date?”

“Well, when you’re chasing the great Charles Eppes, you have to be a little unconventional.”

“Who’s chasing?”

“I’m chasing,” Colby said, stepping closer to Charlie.

“Well,” Charlie said, wrapping his arms around Colby and pulling him close.“You caught me.”

“Yeah,” Colby said softly.

“Now that you’ve caught me,” Charlie said, with a grin.“What are you going to do?”

“Hmm.” Colby said, sliding his hands down Charlie’s back to his ass.“Many ideas come to mind, very few which can be done in public.”

Charlie reached up and rubbed his fingers through Colby’s short hair, delighted to be able to touch Colby how and when he wanted to.“There's always later movie showings.”

Colby pulled tighter against him. “And all night diners.”

“Probably even early morning movie showings somewhere,” Charlie fired back.

“Or late morning showings.”

“And lunch,” Charlie said. “Or an afternoon snack.”

Colby laughed and leaned down to kiss Charlie.

Charlie returned his kiss then remembered he had his own thing to say.He pulled slightly away so that he could see Colby’s face.

“What’s wrong?”Colby asked, his smile fading.

Charlie’s eyes dropped, and he was suddenly anxious.Would it change things for the worse if he told Colby he loved him?If Colby were … sure of Charlie, would he not be as interested?He’d heard of, and experienced for himself, relationships where when the pursuer finally caught the quarry, the pursuer lost interest.What would it _mean_ to Colby that Charlie loved him?To Charlie, it meant everything. _Colby_ meant everything.And Charlie wanted that everything.

“I need to warn you,” Charlie said at last.“I’m very greedy.I’m not going to be willing to share you.I want all of you, all the time, the good and the bad and the messy.”

Colby said firmly.“You’ve got me.I’m all yours.”

Charlie struggled not to respond to the warmth in Colby’s voice.He needed to be sure.

“I mean, I mean … an exclusive relationship,” he continued.“No David, no Don, no … anybody else.”He finally looked up at Colby.“Is that too much to ask?”

Colby’s face softened.“Oh, angel,” he groaned, giving Charlie a tight hug.“It’s not too much to ask.You’re more than enough for me.I just hope that I’m enough for you.”

_How could you not be enough?_ Charlie’s throat felt tight and he gave a shaky laugh.“There’s a lot of you.”

Colby pulled back from the hug.“But I’m not smart.I don’t know what you’re talking about most of the time.I have a scary job with crazy hours and a lousy salary.I have a past that’s pretty ugly and a future that’s uncertain and not much to offer someone who’d no doubt win the Nobel prize for Math if there was one and—“

Charlie stopped the negative litany with a finger to Colby’s lips.He had the urge to debate each point that Colby had just made, but there was really only one thing he needed to say.However, he couldn’t just come out and say it …He fell back on comfortable academic speech patterns.“You know that working definition I was talking about that first morning I stayed over? Well, it has stood up to empirical study and the scrutiny of my peers - at least Larry - and I can confidently declare it validated.”

Colby stared at him for a moment than his eyes grew wide. “You mean …”

“I mean,” Charlie said, holding Colby’s eyes with his own. “I love you.”

“No shit?”Colby gasped.

Charlie grinned.There was no going back now.And he didn’t want to.“No shit.”

Colby whooped and spun Charlie around.“I love you too, my wonderful Charlie!” Colby scooped Charlie off the ground and into his arms.Charlie wrapped his arms around Colby’s neck and knew he was smiling from ear to ear. _How could I ever have questioned that I love this man?_

“And when I get through with you tonight,” Colby said, “there isn’t going to be a single cell in your body that doubts it.” 

Charlie’s pulse started to pound as he realized that Colby was planning on physically demonstrating how happy he was at Charlie’s pronouncement.

Charlie opened his mouth to repeat the magic words, but Colby interrupted him playfully, “Don’t tell me how many cells that is.”

Charlie laughed, his delight overwhelming him as Colby dropped him into the middle of the bed.Colby was perfect, life was perfect, he was in love.

“I love you, Cole,” Charlie said again, then pulled Colby down to him and set about showing it.


End file.
